My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
