Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You're completely useless in the revolution.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
