That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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