I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
