Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
