Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
