he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
