I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
