I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize