I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
