she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
