good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
His hands were made for my vagina.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
