smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
