Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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