I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
