I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
