This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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