i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
