Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize