thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize