i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Small penises have feelings too.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
