it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Someone stole a lamp last night.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize