So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
