You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just cut my nipple shaving
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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