and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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