38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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