What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Two words: blizzard sex
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
