If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize