You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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