Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
not ubering you a puppy
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
