So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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