so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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