I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
