it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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