well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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