We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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