I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
