i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
