sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
