We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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