Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
