I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
