I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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