listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize