New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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