I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I could make wine with my vomit
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize