No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize