Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
