Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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