I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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