Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize