He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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