She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
wat bout pragnant strippers??
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
