Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
