This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize