there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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