He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I could fuck to npr.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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