part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
